Living In The Moment (July 21, 2007)

Why hello my friends! It's been awhile since I did a blog... I guess you could say that I've wanted to get my ducks in a row first. So here I am and I've finally FOUND my ducks and although they may be scattered around here and there, I am at a point where I can start to line them up into some organized way.

I have so much to say but will probably leave a whole bunch out. I'll try to touch on the highlights and try not to ramble too much today. he he he

Where to start! Some of you may remember a few blogs back (I've deleted a bunch of old blogs so this particular one may no longer exist) that I was trying to change my life up, make some alterations, and simply be happier. I am pleased to report that I "have" made a lot of those changes and although I'm not quite there (yet), I am getting close to my happy place.

In January I bought the 6 week body makeover and was very excited to pull it out of the box, read through everything and get motivated. Well... I got as far as getting the entire program in the correct order to begin, weighed myself, took my measurements, and then I put it all back in the box and shoved it in the closet. I guess I wasn't ready to actually DO the program. With all the motivation in the world, I would still need a personal chef to have prepared and eaten all the stuff that was required. So there is your background info for that part of my story.

In January I also decided to give the Desert Star another shot and try Stage Managing again. I accept the position as stage manager for "Nunsense Amen!". What a great experience that was!!! I loved the job, the people and the experience. After almost six months we finally closed the show on a Saturday and that very next Friday we opened a new show "The Taffeta's". Perhaps it was not having a weekend off for six months, perhaps it was the show itself, but I was not feeling very satisfied with "The Taffeta's" and was happy when two weeks ago I received a call from the director stating that we were closing the show.

Last weekend was my first weekend off in over six months! The very first Friday night I was invited to attend an Indian Sweat Lodge. What a wonderful experience that was! From 7 to almost 11 pm I was immersed in Indian medicine, tradition, and lore. What a powerful 4 hours that was in my life. I was able to really spend some time on me. I was able to think about what I wanted, what I desire, and what I need to change in my life. I was able to correct some wrongs in my life, come to terms with some things, and pretty much have a super spiritual experience that was not tied to any particular religion. I will certainly be returning to the sweat lodge in the future and will be much better prepared for the experience the next time around.

Now back to the weight thing. For the past few weeks (2 or 3), I have been using my lunch break to walk. 5 times around our building is 1 mile. 5 times around our building takes me about 25 minutes which is perfect for my 1/2 hour lunch break. When I started walking, I also started eating breakfast each day. I also decided that I would limit my food intake by not super sizing my meals at restaurants, not getting an extra hamburger with my meal and overall by eating less. I also am no longer eating after 8pm. I have not been as diligent with this last part, but I am working on that too.

This morning I woke up and decided to actually weight myself and take my current measurements. I am VERY happy to report that since my original weigh in and measurement back in January, I have lost 25 pounds and 16 1/2 inches across my body!!! So here I am putting it out there to the world, I started at 270 pounds and I am currently at 245 pounds. That's a lot of weight to have dropped! My goal is to get down to between 200-210. I am almost half way to my goal. This is motivation for me to keep up what I have been doing. Fat girl is getting skinny! LOL! I would also like to point out that ALL of that weight has been lost within the last 2 months. I know for sure that since my official weigh in back in January I probably had added a few extra pounds, but I have not weighed myself since that time so I'm sticking to the 25 pounds lost and possibly more.

Now on to my love life.... Well, that's about it. For a fleeting moment back in June, I thought I had found that special person/guy who could fill that little empty void in my life. That didn't work out too well. The guy lived/lives in Montana and is in a relationship. I am not one to break other people up and he still wanted to try to make his relationship work, so that relationship ended before it began. I am a better person for having had the experience and it gives me hope that there is actually someone out there who is a good fit for me.

Life is a funny thing and it can give and take away at a moments notice. So I am working on living in the present, not worrying about the past and looking forward with great excitement to what the future may hold for me. Who knows what's just around the corner and what great and wonderful are bound to occur.

Last week I paid off my car and I am currently 100% debt free!!! I've even opened a savings account and have a small nest egg that is building in that account. I just got my 401k statement this week and that is building quite good as well. $30,000 may not seem like enough to sustain me when I'm old, but that is just the beginning! I have a lot of years left to build upon that and make it into something even greater!!! For that, I am grateful... VERY grateful for my job.

There have been so many changes at my welfare office and at its "undisclosed/secret" location here in the Salt Lake valley. In the past year we have totally changed the way we do our day to day business. In that time, I've switched teams/supervisors, switched locations, and then moved back to my original "secret location". My job has gone from keeping welfare cases up-to-date to actually building new cases from scratch. I spend my days on the phones with our customers, asking questions, and trying to determine their eligibility for food stamps and financial assistance. More recently (starting at the beginning of July) we have merged with a division of the Health Department and have added to our services offered Medicaid. There has been a lot of trainings, a lot of new stuff to know, and a lot of stress, but live is leveling out again and hopeful soon, it will all just be easy again.

I guess that's about it for now. I hope I have not rambled too much. I'm sorry if I have not been around much for a lot of people. I've just been working on keeping my head above water and keeping my sanity. Life is slowing down a bit now and hopefully I will be able to spend more time with others, and include new and old friends back into my life.